Someone finally did it. uselessd — a stripped down version of systemd 208.
Basically, it's a version of systemd that is actually an init system and nothing else. I was waiting for someone to fork systemd for a long time, but I didn't expect a stripped down fork. What I expected was a separation fork — a project to make systemd into a toolbox instead of a monolyth. But this is even cooler. I've already tested it as a drop-in replacement for Arch. It works nicely if you know what you're doing. Won't be using it in Spark, but will still test it from time to time.